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Bob Odenkirk Quotes

Total quotes: 52
“Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they’re really good people.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Lawyers
“What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick falls off when you’re dead!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Jokes, Lawyers
“Congratulations, you’ve just left your family a second-hand Subaru.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 2: 4 Days Out
Tagged: Subaru, Congratulations
“I know what stopped me. And you know what? It's never stopping me again.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Marco
Tagged: Stop, What Stopped Me, Not Holding Back
“Kim Wexler: 'Saul Goodman.'

Jimmy McGill: Yeah. It's like, 'S'all good, man.'”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Off Brand
Tagged: It's All Good, name, Jokes, play on words
“Sometimes you have to say something out loud to hear how crazy it sounds.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Inflatable
Tagged: crazy, Crazy Talk, Hear Yourself Speak
“If I had to do it all over again, I would maybe do some things differently. I just thought you should know that.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Lantern
Tagged: Different Choices, Change The Past, Redo
“What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle? The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Jokes, Lawyers
“Whoa, whoa. Hold up. What the hell happened to you? I get it, the first rule of Fight Club, right?”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Fight Club, Beat Up, Rules
“Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Cobbler
Tagged: Shock, Pie Sitters, Messy, pies, Names
“Chuck McGill: You do realize you just confessed to a felony?

Jimmy McGill: I guess. But you feel better, right? Besides, it's your word against mine.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Klick
Tagged: Confession, Felony, Your word against mine
“For ten minutes today, Chuck didn’t hate me. I forgot what that felt like.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Mabel
Tagged: Hatred, Brotherly Feud, Hate Me
“I'm sorry, Elaine. I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.”
— Ben, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Abstinence
Tagged: doctors, Players, Dating
“Lawyers – you know, we’re like health insurance. You hope you never need it. But, man oh man, not having it – no.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: Lawyers, Health Insurance, Money, essential
“That is the truth! I’m a lawyer! Guys, I passed the bar! Ask me anything! Not contract law, okay?”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Mijo
Tagged: Truth, Law, Lawyer, Contract Law
“Nothing makes me sadder than to see people of the Greatest Generation... people like my own Nana and Bobo... gettin' overcharged by some great, big company. Even if it was an accident.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Amarillo
Tagged: Elders, Elder Law, Overcharged, Grandparents
“I’m not good at building shit, you know? I’m excellent at tearing it down.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Lantern
Tagged: destructive, Building Things, Destroying Things
“I love what you've done with the place. Last time I was here, it was, uh... Well, not a contender for the cover of Good Housekeeping, that's for sure.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Good Housekeeping, Houses, Homes, compliments
“Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!

Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Amarillo
Tagged: Squat Cobbler, pies, Porn
“You pulled that heartstrings con job on me?! You piece of shit! 'Oh, my brain used to work, I'm sick, I don't know what to do!' Asshole! No wonder Rebecca left you! What took her so long?!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Witness
Tagged: asshole, Divorce, Con Job
“What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Jokes, Lawyers
“The bar exam’s a mother. I mean, for me it was. I failed it the first two times, but I guess it’s like losing your virginity, third time’s the charm.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: RICO
Tagged: Bar Exam, Virginity, Losing Your Virginity
“If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad: The Complete Series
Tagged: Commitment, Belief, Lies
“Getting arrested that makes people look guilty, even the innocent ones, and innocent people get arrested every day.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: guilty, innocent, Arrested
“Uh, no, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Five-O
Tagged: Paul Newman, Matlock, Appearance
“What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? “Your Honor.””
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Judges, Jokes
“I'm the best lawyer ever.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Mijo
Tagged: best, Lawyer, Confidence, Full of Oneself
“Howard Hamlin: It's easy money, Jimmy. No reason not to take it.

Jimmy McGill: Go to hell, Howard! I'm not giving you my case. And I'm gonna tell every one of those clients what a lying miserable pig fucker you are. I will burn the whole thing to the ground before I give it to you!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Pimento
Tagged: Easy Money, Clients, Court Case, Anger
“Not all pie sitters cry.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Cobbler
Tagged: pies, Sitter, Crying
“Sometimes the good guys win.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Nailed
Tagged: Good Guys, winners, Good Guys Finish First
“You're letting the whole ocean in at once.”
— Jacob Winograd, Undone, Season 1: The Hospital
Tagged: Ocean, Flood, Too Much, Overwhelming
“I’m not saying it’s not bad. It’s bad. But it could be worse.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Buried
Tagged: Bad, Negative Ways of Looking At Things That Aren't That Negative
“Could be argued that all of life is one great coincidence.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Hero
Tagged: Life, coincidence, Chance, Argued
“I'm number one on your speed dial, right next to your weed dealer.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: Weed, Marijuana, Speed Dial
“We can we all three just parachute down from cloud cuckoo land?”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Cuckoo, crazy, insults
“The fallacy of sunk cost… It’s what gamblers do. They throw good money after bad thinking they can turn their luck around. It’s like, 'I’ve already spent this much money or time… whatever. I got to keep going!' No, there’s no reward at the end of this game.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Switch
Tagged: Sunk Cost, Money, Spending Money, Gamblers
“A good magician never reveals his secrets.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Magician, tricks, Magic Tricks, Secrets
“Perfection is the enemy of perfectly adequate.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Witness
Tagged: Perfection, Adequate, enemies
“It’s never too late for congratulations.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Amarillo
Tagged: Congratulations, Never Too Late, Congrats
“[pitching a themed restaurant idea to the mayor] It's a veteran of World War II. Actually, this particular picture is a model, uh, but our idea is to have him come in and tell war stories and connect with the children and, um, you know, serve pizza.”
— Tom Peters, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 1: WW Laserz
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