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Danny McBride Quotes

Total quotes: 78
“I'm gonna move to Malibu Beach, shave my pussy, learn to surf.”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Now the Sons of Eli Were Worthless Men
Tagged: Malibu Beach, Move, Surf
“You're doing the moonwalk on my nerves, man.”
— Kelvin Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Nerves, Moonwalk, Dancing, upset
“The good thing about getting over depression is...well...you can start to see your enemies more clearly. Suddenly, everyone isn't an obstacle, just some people are...And it might be someone that you find is in your bloodline, distant and as brown as their skin can be, they still are part of you.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: Depression, obstacle, Bloodline
“She was the magic. And now she's gone. And the magic is gone too.”
— Eli Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Magic, Gone, dead
“'Cause when I do me... Good things happen. I've got great methods.”
— Kelvin Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Good Things, Methods, Doing me
“I ain't no charity, I'm a commodity.”
— Baby Billy Freeman, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: They Are Weak, But He Is Strong
Tagged: charity, commodity, Ego
“Once again I'm with the hottest chick in town, buyin' the most expensive fashions, dinin' in the fanciest food places, riding around on goddamn jet skis. Rainin' trim. Hallucinogens. Jet skis again. Throwin' heat. And getting laid.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Getting Laid, hallucinogens, jet skis
“They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice...FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.”
— Honey Mustard (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: gods, monsters, Fuck You, Oblivion
“See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn't matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 1: Chapter 3
Tagged: Talent
“Oddly enough, the people here aren't that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every fuckin' meal.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: Mexico, Sports, Yellow Rice
“Why would you do this to me? Here this whole time I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold. Instead you're just a whore with a real whore's heart.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Whore, heart of gold
“I'm wearing all black. Outlaws wear black. Fags and cocaine dealers wear white.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: Black, wearing black, Outlaws, fags, Cocaine, Homophobia
“We don't have standards... I mean we do. We have a lot of them. And they're real high. ”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Standards, High Standards, difficult
“You see, a foe can plan your destruction, but only a loved one can break your heart.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Foe, Destruction, heart, loved one
“But to capture the heart of one of your teachers, and take her away from you forever. So at this time I would like the beautiful, the forgiving, the talented, big-chested art teacher, to please step forward.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: heart, Forgiving, talented, art teacher
“Yeah, I've actually had multiple orgasms on jet skis. Maybe it's something in our blood that we can just ya know, get hard from riding fuckin’ badass ya know, terrain vehicles...water crafts...”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: multiple orgasms, jet skis, badass
“If you've got something you want to say, then just say it. You can save us a lot of time with this fuckin’ pointless history lesson in this goddamn creepy, uninmpressive, fuckin’ hall. I don't like it in here. It's gross.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: creepy, unimpressive, History, Gross
“If I had to choose, I mean historically, I've always considered myself to be a tit man.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: Tits, historically
“Better hope that you can hang onto that woman forever. Because when she's gone, it all goes with her.”
— Baby Billy Freeman, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Interlude
Tagged: hang on to, Forever, Gone, Loss
“'Cause you know what they say: you can't gobble the pie if you didn't help bake it.”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Extended Metaphor Example, Pie, bake, Gobble
“Jesse: I refuse to be blackmailed! 

The Devil: Well, you kinda are. I mean. that's pretty much exactly what this is, party boy.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Blackmail, Refusal, upset
“I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity's sweet milk. That's philosophy, April.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: Mexico, Grass is Green, Adversity, Philosophy
“I got two hard rules I live by, pop: I don't fuck with the Devil, and I never do tag teams with blood relatives.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: devil, blood relatives, tag teams
“Did this tale end the way I thought it would? Probably not. But as long as I win, who gives a shit?”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Winning
“It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: tits and ass, Tits, ass, Muslims, Jews
“I have regular woman panties where the string goes up my crack. I have tits. I do sex. I'm carvin' my own path.”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Woman, Womanhood, thong, grown up
“If you're gonna be a preacher, you gotta be able to talk about anything, all right? Even if it makes us uncomfortable. When we stop doing that... People burn in hell.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 2: I Speak in the Tongues of Men and Angels
Tagged: Preacher, Uncomfortable, talk
“Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jackass you think of me, OK?”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Mexican, Jackass
“Gross! You're crop-dusting my whole entire bedroom with your pubes right now. Don't be sorry, dude. Just cover up that marble sack.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: Pubes, Gross, scrotum
“It's like goddamn Cocktoberfest in here. I'm excited too, but let's not touch dicks, alright.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: Cocktoberfest, Dicks
“Come on; don't get your panties in a bunch, sis. Flying around on private planes, being leaders, that's men's business.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: upset, Panties in a Bunch, Men's Business , Private Plane
“A goddamn Mexican standoff in fuckin' Mexico. I was hoping to get into one of these before I left.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Mexican, Mexican Standoff
“Too hot for hugs here, man. I've been battlin' a war with swamp ass since I got down here.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: hugs, swamp ass
“Purity—it's what we all desire, and it is what I've come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Purity, whites
“I can't believe I opened up my heart up to that bitch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: booty, Pooping, Bitch
“Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no-no!”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: no-no, thong, Gross
“There's gonna be an ass-ton of crabs, lobsters, wine, Bartles & Jaymes, corn on the cob, fuckin’ booger sugar.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: lobster, bartles & jaymes, corn on the cob, Cocaine
“Judy: Kelvin, eat my ass. 

Kelvin: Yeah right. That'd be incest, and that is disgusting. Bye.”
— Kelvin Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Incest, disgusting, Fued
“When people see you do something bad it's hard for them to see you any other way.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 2: I Speak in the Tongues of Men and Angels
Tagged: Reputation, Bad
“Well, I wouldn't want to ruin a sale, huh? Guess you guys got to make those commissions to be able to buy all the goddamn...the FUBU, and the Oshkosh B'gosh, and the shit the baby's gonna be wearing. Hey, potential home buyers. Hope ya'll know there were a lotta rapes that happened in this house.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: FUBU, Oshkosh B'Gosh, Rape
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