“I had no material because I had never done anything. The reason I was funny, I guess, to friends is I would always be observational about situations. One thing I always observed is that people [when they’re eating] would start a sentence and then take a bite. So I started the sentence. I said, 'This is my first time onstage, and I’m so nervous I didn’t even eat all day. So if you don’t mind—' And then I took a bite, and then I ate and waited to chew and swallow. Then I’d start the sentence over, 'Anyway, when you’re walking—' And then I take another bite. I never finished the sentence. I ate the entire hamburger, fries, and then I said my time was up and I got offstage.”
— Ellen Degeneres, Howard Stern Comes Again
Tagged: comedy, Meta
Appears In: Quotes To Make You Smile
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Howard Stern Comes Again

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