“I understand the nature of the penis.

I have been with enough guys that I am not weighing my self-esteem on every dip and bend that happens over the sexual experience. I've had partners go soft early, middle and late game. I get that the erection that starts the party might not be the same one you finish with. I understand that what does it for you one day is not the same thing that spins your crank the next. Sometimes I have to work for it and I don't mind at all. If we're doing something complicated, time-consuming, and/or something that takes the focus off of you for a while I am not going to balk if your dick takes a time out. I am not offended.

If you second-guess that, if you get hung up on the fact that I am judging you (I'm not) and if you proceed to panic in an attempt to rally you will fail. More than just failing, you will make it near impossible for me to help you rally. If your mind is with me, the body will follow. It might take time, it might not work 100%, but I can jump that hurdle. What I can't do is bring your head back when you start self-destructing.

And I am really, really good at the rally. So long as I am not tied up or otherwise incapacitated, when it comes time to fuck I will be there for you. I will get you there. But I cannot get you there if you are all in your head about the failure. I don't think of it that way but I have been with some guys who essentially ban themselves from interesting sex because they can't deal emotionally with the fact that some things are going to pretty much necessitate that they lose their erections at one point or another.

If the rally fails, be it for reasons of alcohol, sleepiness, or some other cosmic cock block, it will still be okay. I will hit you up in the morning. We will reprise when you get home from work. Not all sex needs to end in an orgasm—male or female—but the option to pass is always voluntary. Unless you tell me otherwise I will be gunning for you in the very near future.

And ladies, this goes for you too. I've inherited many a man who has this hangup because some other woman treated a flagging penis as a game-over sign. The fault however it twofold because guys, rather than using that moment to educate their partner, will just roll with it like that's an acceptable POV. They too believe the porn myth that staying hard throughout marathon sex is easily accomplished. And guys don't want to talk to other guys about the reality of the situation.

Techniques, personal taste, and all the trimmings I can teach. But getting rid of someone's investment in their own masculinity is much more difficult and cuts off so many roads I would otherwise travel.”