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Irving 'Irv' Blitzer Quotes

Total quotes: 13
“Irv: I told the owner of the bar that these guys were mentally disturbed, so he's not going to press any charges.

Sanka Coffie: Yeah! Sled god does it again!

Irv: Just shut up, Sanka.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: sled god, mentally disturbed, criminal charges, shut up
“Oh, yeah, just one little drawback to this delightful winter sport. The high-speed crash. Ooh! That hurt. Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: winter sports, bobsledding, bones shattering, Pain
“This is what it's all about, this is whether you win or lose the race, right here in the push start! This is where you're gonna practice, right here, right here in a Volkswagen!”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: bobsledding, Volkswagen
“Our Father, who art in Calgary, Bobsled be thy name. Thy kingdom come, gold medals won, on Earth as it is in Turn Seven. With Liberty and Justice for Jamaica and Haile Selassie. Amen.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: Our Father, Calgary, jamaica, Haile selassie
“British Official: We must also be concerned about the potential for embarrassment.

Irv: Oh, pardon me. I didn't realize that four black guys in a bobsled could make you blush.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: Embarrassment, black guys, blushing
“Irwin Blitzer: Gentlemen, a bobsled is a simple thing.

Man: Yeah, so's a toilet!”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: bobsled, Simple, Toilet, Analogies
“Josef Grul: Hey, Jamaica! Watch out for Number Twelve turn. Scary, ja?

Derice Bannock: What's his problem?

Irv: He's Josef Grul. He's one of the best drivers in the world.

Yul Brenner: Yeah, he's one of the biggest ASSHOLES in the world, too.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: drivers, Assholes, Problem
“It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: Heat, Humidity, Blizzard, Irony
“Winning a bobsled race is about one thing: the push-start. Now I know you dainty, little track stars think you're fast. Well, heh, let's see how fast you are when you push a six-hundred pound sled. Now a respectable start-time is five-point-seven seconds. If you speed demons can't whip off an even six flat, you have a better chance of becoming a barbershop quartet.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: bobsledding, track stars, Dainty, respectable, barbershop quartet
“Come on, Kurt, what you're doing here is wrong, and you know it! Now if this is about you and me, let's lay it all down now. All right, sixteen years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life: I cheated. I was stupid. I embarrassed myself, I embarrassed my country, my friends, my family, my teammates, [points to Kurt] and my coach. Hey, if it's revenge you want, take it. Go ahead, disqualify me, banish me! Do whatever you want, but do it to me! It was me who let you down, Kurt! It wasn't my guys! They've done everything you've asked of them! And they did it with all of you laughing in their face. Hey, it doesn't matter tomorrow if they come in first or fiftieth. Those guys have earned the right to walk into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are all about. Sixteen years ago I forgot that. Don't you go and do the same.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: Embarrassment, Honor, olympics, Revenge
“All right, Derice. Let me lay out some difficulties for you. Snow: you don't have any. It's nine hundred degrees out there. Time: you don't have any. The Olympics are in three months. And me: you don't have me. As far as I'm concerned, the sport of bobsledding no longer exists. I don't want to do it, I don't want to coach it, and most of all, and I mean most of all, I don't want to be within two thousand miles of anybody who does. Now did you follow all that?”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: olympics, Time, bobsledding
“Irv: Hi, I'd like to register for the tryouts.

Registration Official: What country?

Irv: Uh... [clears throat]  Jamaica.

Registration Official: [smiles] What country?

Irv: Jamaica.

Registration Official: [stops smiling and enters the information] Huh, what do you know? A Jamaican bobsled team.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: bobsledding, jamaica
“Derice Bannock: Hey, Coach.

Irv: Yeah?

Derice Bannock: I have to ask you a question.

Irv: Sure.

Derice Bannock: But you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I mean, I want you to, but if you can't, I understand.

Irv: You wanna know why I cheated, right?

Derice Bannock: Yes, I do.

Irv: That's a fair question. It's quite simple, really. I had to win. You see, Derice, I'd made winning my whole life. And when you make winning your whole life, you have to keep on winning, no matter what. You understand that?

Derice Bannock: No, I don't understand. You won two gold medals. You had it all.

Irv: Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without one, you'll never be enough with one.

Derice Bannock: Hey, coach... how will I know if I'm enough?

Irv: When you cross that finish line tomorrow, you'll know.”
— Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, Cool Runnings
Tagged: Gold Medal, Cheating
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