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Jay Kogen Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Eat my shorts!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Catchphrase, Eat, Shorts, Diss
“Moe: Moe's Tavern.

Bart: Is Mr. Freely there?

Moe: Who?

Bart: Freely, first initials I. P.

Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! I pee freely!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Homer's Odyssey
Tagged: fake name, Prank, Prank Calls, Jokes, Pee
“Marge: You're a very selfish man.

Bart: [plays with a button that presses 'Go to hell' three times.] Once again, great present, Dad!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Lisa the Greek
Tagged: Selfish, present, Button, Go to Hell
“Homer: Do you sell toys?

Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt which I call frogurt.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: Toys, forbidden objects, tread, Frozen Yogurt
“Barney: But I only got up to go the the can!

Homer: Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart the Daredevil
Tagged: difficult, Sassy, name, engraved, bar stool
“I think Grandpa smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Old Money
Tagged: Smells, grandpa, trunk, Garage, wet
“I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: dabbling, black arts, dark arts, chuckle, Wrong
“This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they will have written the greatest novel known to man.  'It was the best of times, it was the 'blurst' of times?' You stupid monkey!”
— Mr. Burns, The Simpsons, Season 4: Last Exit to Springfield
Tagged: monkeys, typewriters, novel, Typo, Stupid
“I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.”
— Marge Simpson , The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: live, House, Evil, Money
“Ew, baby spit! YOU suck.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Ew, ick, baby spit, suck
“Lisa: According to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is suddenly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.

Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.”
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Bart's Friend Falls in Love
Tagged: Reading, Lose Weight, subliminal learning, Unhealthy Desires, idea, rich, creamy, butter
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