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Lester Burnham Quotes

Total quotes: 6
“My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Dead Inside
“Look at me, jerking off in the shower….This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Jerking Off, all downhill
“[Lester has just caught Caroline cheating with the Real Estate King]
Carolyn Burnham: Uh, Buddy, this is my...

Lester Burnham: Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Cheating, Cuckolding
“Lester Burnham: How's Jane?

Angela Hayes: What do you mean?

Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.

Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.

Lester Burnham: Good for her.

Angela Hayes: How are you?

Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.

Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.

Lester Burnham: I'm great.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Happy, Miserable, In love
“I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: firebird, Pissed Off, boy scout, life flashing before your eyes
“[at the dinner table]
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?

Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.

Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of.

Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.

Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.

Lester Burnham: Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Unemployment, Quitting, Mother in Law, Blackmail
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