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Shaun Quotes
Total quotes: 26
Shaun
character
Total quotes: 26
“Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that’s a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress.”
Shaun: Well, that’s a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress.”
Tagged:
twat, failed actress
“Ed: I’m sorry, Shaun.
Shaun: It’s OK.
Ed: No, I’m sorry, Shaun.
Shaun: What? [smells Ed’s fart] Oh, God, that’s rotten!
Ed: I’ll stop doing it when you stop laughing!
Shaun: I am not laughing.”
Shaun: It’s OK.
Ed: No, I’m sorry, Shaun.
Shaun: What? [smells Ed’s fart] Oh, God, that’s rotten!
Ed: I’ll stop doing it when you stop laughing!
Shaun: I am not laughing.”
Tagged:
Farts, cropdusting
“Ed: What’s the plan, then?
Shaun: Right. [cuts to dream sequence] We take Pete’s car, we drive over to Mum’s, we go in, take care of Philip—‘I’m so sorry, Philip’—then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea, and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz’s?
Shaun: Because we do.
Ed: But she dumped you!
Shaun: I have to know if she’s all right!
Ed: Why?
Shaun: Because I love her!
Ed: All right...gayyy...I’m not staying there, though.
Shaun: Why not?
Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
Shaun: Okay. [cuts to dream sequence again] We take Pete’s car, go round Mum’s, go in, deal with Philip—‘Sorry, Philip!’—grab Mum, go to Liz’s, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea, and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Perfect!
Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can’t bring her back here.
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Well, it’s not really safe, is it?
Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.
Shaun: Where’s safe? Where’s familiar?
Ed: Where can I smoke? [Shaun and Ed pause, then slowly make a realization]
Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mum’s. Kill Phil—‘Sorry.’—grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee! [Shaun and Ed clang their weapons together]”
Shaun: Right. [cuts to dream sequence] We take Pete’s car, we drive over to Mum’s, we go in, take care of Philip—‘I’m so sorry, Philip’—then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea, and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz’s?
Shaun: Because we do.
Ed: But she dumped you!
Shaun: I have to know if she’s all right!
Ed: Why?
Shaun: Because I love her!
Ed: All right...gayyy...I’m not staying there, though.
Shaun: Why not?
Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
Shaun: Okay. [cuts to dream sequence again] We take Pete’s car, go round Mum’s, go in, deal with Philip—‘Sorry, Philip!’—grab Mum, go to Liz’s, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea, and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Perfect!
Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can’t bring her back here.
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Well, it’s not really safe, is it?
Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.
Shaun: Where’s safe? Where’s familiar?
Ed: Where can I smoke? [Shaun and Ed pause, then slowly make a realization]
Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mum’s. Kill Phil—‘Sorry.’—grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee! [Shaun and Ed clang their weapons together]”
Tagged:
dream sequence
“Ed: See? You don’t need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don’t, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I’m not gonna say, you know, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. I’m not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I’m not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this? [chuckling] It’s not the end of the world.”
Shaun: Oh, don’t, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I’m not gonna say, you know, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. I’m not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I’m not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this? [chuckling] It’s not the end of the world.”
Tagged:
Cliches, plenty of fish
“Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves.
Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I’ll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]
Shaun: You know, I don’t think I’ve got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.
Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I’d have taken you back?
Shaun: Well...you don’t want to die single, do you?
Ed: [interrupting] That’s it. I would like to be shot.
Shaun: Besides, I’ve changed. I haven’t had a fag since yesterday, I promise!
Ed: He hasn’t.”
Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I’ll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]
Shaun: You know, I don’t think I’ve got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.
Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I’d have taken you back?
Shaun: Well...you don’t want to die single, do you?
Ed: [interrupting] That’s it. I would like to be shot.
Shaun: Besides, I’ve changed. I haven’t had a fag since yesterday, I promise!
Ed: He hasn’t.”
Tagged:
Cigarettes, Mortality
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