“The truth is, a victim of abuse rarely consciously ‘chooses’ to be in an abusive relationship – often, they ‘choose’ a partner who treats them very well in the beginning – the false mask that the abuser portrays. When the victim is sufficiently hooked into the relationship and invested, that is when the tide turns, the false mask slips, and the terror begins. Tiny red flags become tidal waves, inconspicuous molehills become monstrous mountains. The victim’s choice to stay within the relationship may not be a choice led by agency, but by fear, the effects of trauma, by the erosion of their own identity, even by the threat of violence or the presence of children. There are many complicated factors that go into the choice of leaving or staying, and it doesn’t help that survivors struggle to gain support from a society that silences, shames and blames them for being abused in the first place.’”