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One Day at a Time Quotes

“Ms. Romano, I'm a little bit disappointed in you. How can you settle for a tricycle when Kawasaki makes the good times roll?”
— Dwayne Schneider, One Day at a Time, Season 1: Ann's Decision
“Now the entire team calls me 'Butt-trunk Boy.' They could've called me 'Junk In The Trunk.' It was right there.”
— Alex Alvarez, One Day at a Time, Season 1: The Death of Mrs. Resnick
Tagged: name calling, Jokes, Junk in the trunk
“Penelope: You and your brother are of different shades.

Lydia: Yes, Papito is a beautiful caramel, and you are... Wonder Bread.”
— Lydia Riera, One Day at a Time, Season 2: The Turn
Tagged: shades, Race, Color, Beautiful, Metaphor Examples
“Schneider: Hey, you're still gay, right?

Elena: Yeah! And a woman, I'm back in!”
— Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time, Season 2: The Turn
Tagged: gay, Questions, Women, Identity
“Elena: You're saying I'm going to go through my whole life without being oppressed at all?

Penelope: Okay, you know that wouldn't be a bad thing, right?”
— Penelope Alvarez, One Day at a Time, Season 2: The Turn
Tagged: Oppressed, whole life, bad thing
“No matter where you hide it, kids find it. And accidents happen. And things that aren't accidents. We have teenagers in this house. We have a gay teenager in this house. We have a veteran with PTS. This is the last house that should have a gun.”
— Penelope Alvarez, One Day at a Time, Season 2: Locked Down
Tagged: House, situation, kids, Gun, teenagers
“Penelope: I know what the last part sounds like, but I promise I would never do anything like that.

Schneider: I know. But I think you know that healthy brains do not go to that place.”
— Penelope Alvarez, One Day at a Time, Season 2: Hello, Penelope
Tagged: Promise, healthy brains, Place
“I’m going to spoon you.”
— Lydia Riera, One Day at a Time, Season 1: This Is It
Tagged: Cuddle, Spoon
“Leslie and Lydia, Leslie and Lydia, we're just good friends!”
— Lydia Riera, One Day at a Time, Season 1: Viva Cuba
Tagged: Good Friends, Relationship
“Jesus and Santa were cousins, everybody knows this!”
— Lydia Riera, One Day at a Time, Season 1: No Mass
Tagged: jesus, santa, cousins, Knowledge
“The condiment or the dance? I am equipped for both.”
— Lydia Riera, One Day at a Time, Season 1: Bobos and Mamitas
Tagged: condiment, dance, ready for both
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