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Superstore Quotes

“He pulled me into his Kia, and he said to me, 'Sandra take out your taters'.”
— Sandra Kaluiokalani, Superstore, Season 2: Rebranding
Tagged: Sandra From Superstore
“People assume all Christians are homophobes. You know, that is ignorant. You can't imagine how hard it is being stereotyped.”
— Glenn Sturgis, Superstore, Season 1: Wedding Day Sale
Tagged: Examples of Irony
“I cannot physically touch you, but I can get very close.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Shoplifter
Tagged: physical contact
“I'm a hunter. Some people like to hunt elk, or deer. I hunt people, and your head is going on my wall.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Shoplifter
Tagged: Violent Threats, Threats, Things To Say To People That Are Crazy, Hunting People
“I guess I'm just a human vibrator, built for Amy's pleasure.”
— Tate Staskiewicz, Superstore, Season 3: Groundhog Day
“Tate: Why does a pharmacist want to slum it as an assistant manager? I mean, is this a prank show? Is there a camera watching? Just truth is, I need a break. Have you ever held a dying man's hand in yours while you had to tell him that we don't accept rewards points for his medication? He literally died while I was holding his hand. 

Amy: I don't think that's true.”
— Tate Staskiewicz, Superstore, Season 1: Demotion
Tagged: The Tough Life of Being A Pharmacist
“Alprazolam, Good, good times.”
— Tate Staskiewicz, Superstore, Season 2: Black Friday
Tagged: Alprazolam, Xanax, Xanax Jokes
“Yo, I don't like working here. Okay. But it's my job. I do the bare minimum, but I don't do less than that. And I'm not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, which I did not think was possible. So I'ma get out there, and I'ma finish my shift. And yeah, I'ma cut corners, and I'ma phone it in, but it'll never be said that Garrett McNeill did not do just enough to not get fired.”
— Garrett McNeill, Superstore, Season 2: Black Friday
Tagged: Doing The Bare Minimum, Lazy But Respectful Workers, Hardly Working
“It's all hands on deck, so quit your Myspacing and get on the register. That's an order.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 2: Black Friday
Tagged: Get Off MySpace
“A psychopath doesn't have a conscience. A sociopath knows what he's doing is wrong but does it anyway.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Demotion
Tagged: Sociopath, Psychopath
“Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve.”
— Glenn Sturgis, Superstore, Season 1: Labor
Tagged: Steve, Knowing Other Names
“I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Working In Christianity
“Do you want your child raised in a home with loaded handguns laying around? Or do you want your child raised by Glenn?”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Mannequin
Tagged: Who Should Raise Your Kids?
“Turns out they had a meth lab in their basement, which, turns out, was just a front for a dog fighting ring.”
— Glenn Sturgis, Superstore, Season 1: Secret Shopper
Tagged: Crystal Meth, Examples of Irony, Drugs
“God doesn't make mistakes very often, but when he does, you have to throw them right in the trash.”
— Glenn Sturgis, Superstore, Season 1: Wedding Day Sale
Tagged: God And Mistakes
“I can't be a single mom. I have never even driven on the highway before. What if the baby needs to go downtown?”
— Cheyenne, Superstore, Season 1: Wedding Day Sale
Tagged: Single Mom
“Tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.”
— Amy Dubanowski, Superstore, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Funny Deep, Deep But Also Amusing, Life
“I didn't set out to have a baby. It came from sex.”
— Cheyenne, Superstore, Season 1: Mannequin
Tagged: Sex, Jokes
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