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The Big Bang Theory Quotes

“As my mom used to say, 'When you're doing a puzzle, it's like you've got a thousand friends.' She was full of fun lies like that.”
— Amy Farrah Fowler, The Big Bang Theory, Season 7: The Scavenger Vortex
Tagged: Mom, Puzzle, Friends, Fun, Lies
“Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin. 

Sheldon: Why? 

Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.”
— Howard Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: The Tangerine Factor
Tagged: glad, learn, Mandarin, Annoying, fluent, Language
“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: The Lizard-Spock Expansion
Tagged: Rock Paper Scissors, Lizard, Rules, Spock, vaporizes
“Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn’t speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, 'Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?'

Penny: What does that mean?

Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, 'Would you like an enema?'”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: The Pancake Batter Anomaly
Tagged: Housekeeper, english, Sick, Convince, Assumptions, enema
“Sheldon: Why are you crying?

Penny: Because I’m stupid!

Sheldon: That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 3: The Gorilla Experiment
Tagged: Crying, syupid, Reason for Existence, Sad
“Raj: I don’t like bugs, okay? They freak me out.

Sheldon: Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 3: The Jiminy Conjecture
Tagged: bugs, Freak, interesting, Afraid, Women, Insects, Ladybugs, Catatonic
“Howard: How’s the air mattress?

Sheldon: It’s okay, if you don’t mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: The Bad Fish Paradigm
Tagged: air mattress, Sleeping, bouncy castle, don't mind
“I often forget other people have limitations. It’s so sad.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: The Griffin Equivalency
Tagged: forget, Others, Limitations, Sad
“I am a horny engineer; I never joke about math or sex.”
— Howard Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: The Hofstadter Isotope
Tagged: Horny, Engineer, joke, Sex, Math
“Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.

Sheldon: No, no, that’s true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.”
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Tagged: Isaac Newton, gravity, Intelligence, apparent, Apple
“Leonard: For God’s sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?

Sheldon: You have a sarcasm sign?”
— Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: The Big Bran Hypothesis
Tagged: Sarcasm, sign, open my mouth
“Leonard: I love cheesecake.

Sheldon: You’re lactose intolerant.

Leonard: I don’t eat it. I just think it’s a good idea.”
— Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: cheesecake, lactose intolerant, Eat, good idea
“God and I are simply dripping with imagination.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: God, Creative Theology
“I've always associated good mood with stupidity.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 10
Tagged: Happy People, Moods
“I'll strip you of all you have. Everything.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: insults, War Cries
“Every candidate for priesthood takes a vow of chastity and none of them respect them. That's the truth.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: Priesthood, Chastity
“The whole world is dying of curiosity.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: Curiosity, Intrique
“In the Sixties the young people that protested in the streets spouted all kind of heresies, all except one: power to the imagination. In that, they were correct.The only problem was they had no imagination.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: The Sixties, Hippies, Insults to Hippies
“Persuasive and stupid, like every politicians' speech.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: Politics, Political Rhetoric, Insults to Politicians
“I give you a lot of freedom because I trust you to act like an adult. Please don't make me regret that.”
— Valerie Meyers, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Parents and Children, Giving Your Kids Freedom
“Hid in a drawer right under the guards desk. Right under their fucking nose. Couldn't figure out what the stink was.”
— Richard Speck, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 9
Tagged: creepy, Serial Killers, Netflix
“You know why those cunts died? Because it just wasn't their fucking night.”
— Richard Speck, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 9
Tagged: creepy, Serial Killers, Netflix
“Come here little boy. You want to pet my bird, too?”
— Richard Speck, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 9
Tagged: creepy, Serial Killers, Netflix
“You have no idea how many objectives can be obtained by humiliating ones fellow man. But there's a secret to it. The person humiliated can't realize they'd been humiliated.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 10
Tagged: Humiliation is the strongest feeling, manipulation
“Jenna dances for an audience. You dance like there's no-one else in the room... Your life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing, because you're no fake, you're not lost, you don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, but I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again.”
— Steve Wilton, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Love, Attraction, compliments
“I loved you for the way you were not for the way you ought to be.”
— Cardinal Dussolier, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: Love, Quote of the Moment
“The right motivations can move the world.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 10
Tagged: Potential, Affirmative
“There’s no lemon so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade.”
— Dr. Nathan Katowski, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Lemons, Lemonade, chances
“We all want to see that which is hidden.”
— Lenny Belardo, The Big Bang Theory, Specials: Episode 6
Tagged: The Secret of Secrecy, Hidden
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