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Mindy Kaling Quotes

Total quotes: 84
“That is not brightly colored. Or shaped like a dinosaur. Hold on guys. It’s broccoli! Blah!”
— Disgust (voice), Inside Out
Tagged: brightly colored, Dinosaur, broccoli, Gross, food
“One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.”
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
Tagged: Friendship, Love, Laughter
“I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Injury
Tagged: butter, Foot, Country Crock, Pain, Relief
“I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anywhere. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.”
— Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
“I want Steve Carell to play Ted Cruz in a biopic and I want to write it”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Ted Cruz, Movies, writer, Politics
“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
Tagged: Confidence, Life, Makeup
“I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye.”
— Mindy Kaling, The Mindy Project
Tagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“I want a guy who wants to curl up on a Friday night and watch Netflix.”
— Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
Tagged: Dating, Netflix, cuddling, H4D-5
“I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get and go sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch was paid for. That is the life.”
— Stanley Hudson, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: humor, jury duty, Lazy, Judgmental, Civic Duty
“Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?


Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4: Night Out
Tagged: questions to ask someone who hurt you, How Dare You
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: Merry Christmas, Christmas, Fear
“Whitney: You look like the perfume lady at Bloomingdales.

Leighton: That is the meanest thing you could've said to me.”
— Whitney Chase, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 1: Kappa
Tagged: Bloomingdales, mean, Insult, Simile Examples
“The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms. Whatever. I'm over it. It's just grossly irresponsible.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Gettysburg
Tagged: History, Civil War, irresponsible, erasure, Forgotten
“Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of painkillers, drank a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good.”
— Andy Bernard, The Office, Season 8: Test the Store
Tagged: Drunk, Wine, painkillers, Good Day, Tough, pants
“You guys I'm like really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, Kelly what's the biggest company in the world? And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 7: Nepotism
Tagged: funny responses when people call you dumb
“Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant. 

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Phyllis' Wedding
Tagged: what happens when you get drunk, weddings are emotional, fake pregnancy
“Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.

Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Product Recall
Tagged: phone calls
“We're both allergic to the same tree nuts. And I've been in love with you for a long time.”
— Duffy, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: allergic, Tree Nuts, Love, In love
“Meredith: I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding.

Kelly: I know but there was an emergency. I look really good in white. ”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Phyllis' Wedding
Tagged: Wedding Dress, What To Wear To A Wedding
“I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Injury
Tagged: special treatment, family member, physical trauma, too much to ask
“Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: Threat, Ultimatums, humor, dramatic, Drama Queen
“I love you. And I've never said that to anybody. Well, my mom, and one time to LeBron James when I saw him at the grocery store.”
— Craig, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: Love, Saying I Love You, lebron james
“Bela: Monogamous sex hits different.

Whitney: Bela, it's been one night.”
— Bela Malhotra, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 2: Taking Shots
Tagged: Monogamy, Relationships
“I would say that my mother is the single biggest role model in my life, but that term doesn’t seem to encompass enough when I use it about her. She was the love of my life.”
— Mindy Kaling, 100 Inspiring Quotes About Moms for 100 Years of Mother's Day
Tagged: I Love You Mom, Motherhood, Love, Pure Love, Unconditional Love, Family Love, humanity, Humanizing
“Guys. There is no reason to say "One-two-three" before you take a photo. Just take a million photos.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Photos, Selfies, Social Media
“Today at work I asked a writers assistant for 3 Advil and some water, and immediately Matt Warburton chimed in asking for 3 Cialis and whiskey.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Alcohol, Work, advil, Water
“Fervent but unimportant opinion: bedrooms shouldn't have televisions. Bedrooms are for three things, watchin TV ain't one of them.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Opinion, bedroom, Sex, Television
“I'm traveling from Europe on my birthday so I've had a birthday for 40 hours.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: birthday, travel, Europe
“My greatest fear, that my sweatshirt that says "la playa" on it would be misunderstood as "L.A. Playa", was realized.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: beach, sweatshirt, clothing, Misunderstanding
“Eat your dinner, tuck your kids in, guzzle your wine, have sex quickly and at midnight watch part 2, season 4 of my show.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Sex, Dinner, Wine
“I used to make fun of the person who ordered chicken teriyaki at the sushi restaurant and now I really enjoy it. Worth tweeting? Not sure.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: sushi, chicken, Tweeting
“I love walking dead but I never want them to grieve or question their humanity. Head stab! Head stab! Kiss someone! Head stab!”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: the walking dead, humanity, Death, Kissing
“When people Instagram photos of them looking silly or stupid I feel like they are successful and sane.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Instagram, Success, photographs, Sanity
“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.”
— Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
Tagged: Hard Work, Parents, Advice
“Why is it helpful men speak up? Because that's what this personality fears most: the disintegration of the tacit male support for this behavior.”
— Mindy Kaling
Tagged: Patriarchy, smash the patriarchy, Women Empowerment, empowering women, women's movement
“Also? Hugh Jackman? He can seriously get some. (It's my birthday I can say whatever crazy shit I want.)”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: hugh jackman, Sex, birthday
“How do I hire the obstacle course from Double Dare for our writers retreat?”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: double dare, Writers, obstacle course
“I'm on the Today Show tomorrow offering up my doable New Years resolutions! Just kidding, F resolutions, I'm talking bout books I love!”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Books, Resolutions, New Year
“My mom always used to say, ‘You can’t say I love you before you can say I.’ And I think that sort of makes sense.”
— Mindy Kaling, I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies...: How to find love & sh*t like that
Tagged: Dating Advice, Guy Advice, Relationship Advice
“I think I’m bad at sex. I had no idea what to do with my legs or arms. I was like the inflatable balloon man at a tire store.”
— Devi Vishwakumar, Never Have I Ever, Season 4: ...lost my virginity
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