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Spongebob Squarepants Quotes

Total quotes: 24
“It matters not whether one is dirty or clean for can cleanliness exist without filthiness? And would filthiness exist without cleanliness?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 5: The Battle of Bikini Bottom
Tagged: Strange Philosophy, Against Showering, Dirty is Clean, Paradoxes
“I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors. Take it away penny.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Sqaurepants
Tagged: indoors, Nature Sucks, Not A Nature Person
“Oh, if I'd known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: SpongeGuard on Duty
Tagged: Lifeguards, Stupid, Oh The Irony, Stupid Spongebob
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants
Tagged: Spongebob, T.V Quotes, Funny Quotes
“Spongebob: Now that we're men, we have facial hair.

Patrick: Now that we're men I changed my underwear. ”
— Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star,
Tagged: Spongebob Quotes, T.V Quotes
“You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Bossy Boots
Tagged: Death Wish, Irony
“The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and may only be discussed in part or in whole with its creator Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Bossy Boots
Tagged: Krabby Patty, Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs, The World of Fast Food in Spongebob Squarepants
“Fish boy, are they smelly? Whoo hoo!! How could a creature who spend so much time in the water smell so bad?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Grandma's Kisses
Tagged: fish, Smelly, soap
“Don't you know a suspect is just a friend you haven't cleared of charges yet?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 11: The Legend of Boo-Kini Bottom
Tagged: Criminal Suspects
“I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steaming between two fluffy seaweed sea buns.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Tea at the Treedome
Tagged: Burgers, Parody, Pickles, Lettuce, Tomato
“I heard that in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. No, wait, it wasn't coral.Maybe it was sand...no, mud.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Ripped Pants
Tagged: Hardship, Pioneers, coal, Coral, mud
“Hall Monitor SpongeBob reporting for duty, ma'am! I'm ready to assume my position in the hall! I will protect all that are weak in the hall! All rules to be enforced in the hall!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Plankton!
Tagged: Hall Monitor
“SpongeBob: Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?


Fish: Why?!
 

SpongeBob: Because, they're so darn stupid!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Grandma's Kisses
Tagged: Anti-Jokes, Stupid
“Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Survival of the Idiots
Tagged: Gross, Clarinet, Toilet
“Oh, living out the remainder of my life, in safety. If you guys were smart, you were join me. That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor. And so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: Squilliam Returns
Tagged: Survivor, Agoraphobia
“Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants
Tagged: Get Me Out of Here, Bored, Want To Leave
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: The Bully
Tagged: Absurd
“The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Squid's Day Off
Tagged: Hot, That's Hot, Humblebragging
“You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants
Tagged: T.V Quotes, Funny Quotes
“You can throw all your dreams down the well. Although everyday the pain grows you ride unicorns on rainbows if you throw all your dreams down the well. When your life's come apart at the seams and you've given up all your dreams, here is just the means to make those dreams come true.
No more suffering, no more sighin', no more pain and no more cryin'.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 4: Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI
Tagged: Songs, Dreams, Rainbows, Suffering
“SpongeBob: Can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come?

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Does that answer your questions?
 

SpongeBob: All except for that last one.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 6: Sun Bleached
Tagged: Repetition
“Like, once, I met this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's cousin—”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: Krab Borg
Tagged: Repetition
“SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[rumble of thunder]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... a flying ice cream truck.
[a shadow forms over SpongeBob; chimes play]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And live!
[the flying ice cream truck stops short of crushing Spongebob]
Larry the Lobster: [on megaphone] Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: The Algae's Always Greener
Tagged: thunder, Flying Ice Cream Trucks, Careful What You Wish For
“SpongeBob: [rapid fire] I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean he's so tough on the outside, but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary he was sick and he let me leave 5 minutes early. Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Narrator: Two very boring minutes later...
SpongeBob: And theeeen, there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did, and he didn't even dock my pay! What a sweet man!!!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 7: Rodeo Daze
Tagged: Droning, Boring, Repetition, Talking Too Much
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