1. Home
    2.  › 
  2. TV Quotes
    3.  › 
  3. SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

“ He's a ghost in denial. He needs us now more than ever.”
— SpongeBob Squarepants (voice), SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost
Tagged: Ghost, Denial, more than ever
“I can't give up. I can do this. I've got Anchor Arms! I'm no wimp! I'm a jerk!”
— SpongeBob Squarepants (voice), SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: MuscleBob BuffPants
Tagged: Give Up, wimp, Jerk, Anchor, arms, muscles
“This working out thing isn't working out.”
— SpongeBob Squarepants (voice), SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: MuscleBob BuffPants
Tagged: Working Out, not working
“Opposite Day! Next time it's gonna be 'Go-Jump-off-a-Cliff Day'”
— Squidward Tentacles , SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Opposite Day
Tagged: Opposite, jump off a cliff
“Oh, a big, beautiful, old rock! Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!”
— SpongeBob Squarepants (voice), SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Pizza Delivery
Tagged: big, Beautiful, Rock, Pioneers, miles, Baby
“The Krusty Krab Pizza is the pizza for you and me!”
— SpongeBob Squarepants (voice), SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Pizza Delivery
Tagged: Pizza, catchy, Delivery
“Plankton: 1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas.”
— Karen, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Plankton!
Tagged: Components, Structure, Make Up, percentage
“FIRMLY GRASP IT!!!!!”
— Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Jellyfishing
Tagged: firmly, grasp, Instructions
“SpongeBob: [rapid fire] I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean he's so tough on the outside, but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary he was sick and he let me leave 5 minutes early. Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Narrator: Two very boring minutes later...
SpongeBob: And theeeen, there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did, and he didn't even dock my pay! What a sweet man!!!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 7: Rodeo Daze
Tagged: Droning, Boring, Repetition, Talking Too Much
“SpongeBob: Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?


Fish: Why?!
 

SpongeBob: Because, they're so darn stupid!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Grandma's Kisses
Tagged: Anti-Jokes, Stupid
“The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and may only be discussed in part or in whole with its creator Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Bossy Boots
Tagged: Krabby Patty, Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs, The World of Fast Food in Spongebob Squarepants
“Don't you know a suspect is just a friend you haven't cleared of charges yet?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 11: The Legend of Boo-Kini Bottom
Tagged: Criminal Suspects
“The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Squid's Day Off
Tagged: Hot, That's Hot, Humblebragging
“I heard that in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. No, wait, it wasn't coral.Maybe it was sand...no, mud.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Ripped Pants
Tagged: Hardship, Pioneers, coal, Coral, mud
“Fish boy, are they smelly? Whoo hoo!! How could a creature who spend so much time in the water smell so bad?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Grandma's Kisses
Tagged: fish, Smelly, soap
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: The Bully
Tagged: Absurd
“I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steaming between two fluffy seaweed sea buns.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Tea at the Treedome
Tagged: Burgers, Parody, Pickles, Lettuce, Tomato
“Hall Monitor SpongeBob reporting for duty, ma'am! I'm ready to assume my position in the hall! I will protect all that are weak in the hall! All rules to be enforced in the hall!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1: Plankton!
Tagged: Hall Monitor
“SpongeBob: Can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come?

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Does that answer your questions?
 

SpongeBob: All except for that last one.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 6: Sun Bleached
Tagged: Repetition
“You can throw all your dreams down the well. Although everyday the pain grows you ride unicorns on rainbows if you throw all your dreams down the well. When your life's come apart at the seams and you've given up all your dreams, here is just the means to make those dreams come true.
No more suffering, no more sighin', no more pain and no more cryin'.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 4: Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI
Tagged: Songs, Dreams, Rainbows, Suffering
“You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Bossy Boots
Tagged: Death Wish, Irony
“Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Survival of the Idiots
Tagged: Gross, Clarinet, Toilet
“ Goodbye, everyone. I'll remember you all in therapy.”
— Sheldon Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: The Algae's Always Greener
Tagged: therapy, Outta Here
“Oh, if I'd known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: SpongeGuard on Duty
Tagged: Lifeguards, Stupid, Oh The Irony, Stupid Spongebob
“Like, once, I met this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's cousin—”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: Krab Borg
Tagged: Repetition
“Oh, living out the remainder of my life, in safety. If you guys were smart, you were join me. That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor. And so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: Squilliam Returns
Tagged: Survivor, Agoraphobia
“SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[rumble of thunder]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... a flying ice cream truck.
[a shadow forms over SpongeBob; chimes play]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And live!
[the flying ice cream truck stops short of crushing Spongebob]
Larry the Lobster: [on megaphone] Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: The Algae's Always Greener
Tagged: thunder, Flying Ice Cream Trucks, Careful What You Wish For
“If your parents saw a real stupid person, they would realize how much of a genius you are.”
— Paul Tibbitt, Mr. Lawrence, Walt Dohrn, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 2: Dumped
Tagged: Stupid, Genius, Irony, Backhanded Compliments, Parents
“It matters not whether one is dirty or clean for can cleanliness exist without filthiness? And would filthiness exist without cleanliness?”
— Spongebob Squarepants, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 5: The Battle of Bikini Bottom
Tagged: Strange Philosophy, Against Showering, Dirty is Clean, Paradoxes
“Spongebob: What do you usually do when I’m gone? 

Patrick: Wait for you to come back.”
— Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 3: New Student Starfish
Tagged: Love, You're My Everything
loading next page...