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Tim Herlihy Quotes

Total quotes: 42
“[pointing to Vanessa's older lover] Sonny, is that the man with the old balls?”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Ageism, old balls
“Sonny: Say 'Happy Halloween'.

Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween.

Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Halloween, Trick or Treat, be prepared
“Beaver Breath: You have no right to be here. This Apache land.

Will Patch: And what you gonna do about it, beaver breath?

Beaver Breath: How he know my name?”
— Will Patch, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Land, apache, Beaver, Breath
“O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground]

Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: dodgeball, big trouble
“[regarding Ramon's shocked-face signal to begin the heist] You know, I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.”
— General Custer, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: cologne, shocked face, Home Alone
“Corinne: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?

Sonny: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called 'doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.'”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Laundry, Double Entendres, hibbidy-dibbidy
“Sonny: What do you eat?

Julian: Food.

Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: eating, food, Stating the Obvious
“Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: old balls, loose skin, Gross
“Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.

Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: sugar mama, money making
“Never Wears Bra: You lucky, Smoking Fox. White Knife all man. Bravest of all braves.

Smoking Fox: Not brave. Foolish. I want to be wife, not widow.”
— Smoking Fox, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Lucky, Brave, foolish, Wife, Widow
“Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter?

Chico: No, actually, I'm a...piano player.”
— Frank Stockburn, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: muscles, prizefighter, Piano Player
“My God, that's a shitload of piss.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Piss, shitload
“Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?

Sonny: Yeah.

Layla: Is that strange for you?

Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Porno, Best Friends, Law School, Falling In Love
“3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl.

Billy Madison: Kid can’t even read.

Ernie: Cut it out, dude, you’re gonna get us in trouble.

Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Stuttering, bullying
“No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: chlorophyll, Making Out
“That is some mystical shit!”
— Danny, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: mystical, Shit
“Danny: I did a real stupid thing that inadvertently led to the death of a United States president, I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.

Frank Stockburn: Well son, look at my eyes... Shit happens!

Danny: Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, sir.”
— Danny, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Shit Happens, lincoln assassination
“What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Father Figure, hair puller
“Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant hooters!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Hooters, boobs
“Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.

Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.

Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.

Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: men kissing, gay, brothers
“Mr. Herlihy: Goddamn Jets!

Waitress: Hey, cutie! What are you doing here?

Julian: Watching football.

Waitress: Oh yeah, who do you want to win?

Julian: The Goddamn Jets.”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Football, New York Jets, Goddamn
“Tommy aka White Knife: I'm in a bit of a bind, boys. I rode all the way out here to pan for gold and my horse up and died on me.

Rifleman: How'd he die?

Tommy aka White Knife: Suicide. Drowned himself. Put his head in the stream and just kept it there. Saddest thing you ever seen.”
— Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Suicide, Drowning, Horse Suicide
“Brian Madison: You remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?

Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn’t.

Brian Madison: Rock? ‘r-o-k’?

Billy Madison: Yea, so what’s your point?

Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!

Billy Madison: Ohh! The ‘C’ is silent.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: spelling bee
“Tommy aka White Knife: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?

Chico: I'm ready.

Ramon: I'm hungry.

Danny: I'm drunk.

Lil' Pete: And I'm Lil Pete.

Herm: [unintelligible]

Tommy aka White Knife: Let's get that nugget then...”
— Tommy aka White Knife, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Handsome, Ready
“Grant: Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000.

Mark Twain: 15 large. Are you sure General Custard can swing that?

General George Custer: It's Custer, not 'Custard.' There is no 'D.' I'm not a dessert.

Mark Twain: Boom, I just dropped some satire on your ass, General!

General George Custer: You got me!”
— General Custer, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: General Custer, Custard, satire, ass
“Sonny: [Julian is bouncing up and down in front of the TV on a rubber ball] Hey.

Julian: Hey!

Sonny: You like hockey?

Julian: You like hockey?

Sonny: This is a big, important game.

Julian: This is a big, important game!

Sonny: Cut the crap.

Julian: Cut the crap!

Sonny: I'm being serious, don't do that.

Julian: I;m being serious, don't do that!

Sonny: [quickly] How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Julian: [stops bouncing]

Sonny: That's what I thought. Shut up. [Julian resumes bouncing in front of the TV]”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Repetition, Hockey, tongue twisters
“Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems.

Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot two years ago, you spend one night in the hospital.

Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth two hundred thousand dollars, so there ya go.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: medical problems, syracuse, hypochondria
“Sonny: Everyone's so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes.

Mr. Herlihy: Like I'm not busy?

Sonny: Hey Mr. Herlihy, how bout you shut up before i smack you threw the wall like last week?

Mr. Herlihy: Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on woman. Oh... hah... hahahahahahaha.

Sonny: He drinks a lot of soda.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Busy, soda, Crap, bring it on
“Never Wears Bra: [Walks out of her tepee and stretches] Good morning, boys.

Tommy aka White Knife: Good morning, Never Wears Bra.

Never Wears Bra: I had dream about you last night, White Knife.

Tommy aka White Knife: Oh, that's nice.

Never Wears Bra: Not nice dream. In dream you naughty, you naughty, White Knife.

Frank Stockburn: Somebody's got an admirer!”
— Tommy aka White Knife, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: bra, Dreams, dirty dreams
“Wyatt Earp: What's shakin’, Twain?

Mark Twain: Hey, I'm good on anything. Just like gravy, baby. Good to see you, my man.

Wyatt Earp: You too, man.

Wyatt Earp: Hey, I finally read Prince and the Pauper.

Mark Twain: Oh, is that right?

Wyatt Earp: Didn't get it.

Mark Twain: For reals?

Wyatt Earp: Satire! Boom! I got ya!”
— Wyatt Earp, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: prince and the pauper, gravy, Mark Twain, wyatt earp
“Principal: Mr. Madison, the Industrial Revolution changed the face of the modern novel forever. Discuss, citing specific examples.

[Billy clears his throat several times]

Billy Madison: Uh...OK. The Industrial Revolution to me is just like a story I know called ‘The Puppy Who Lost His Way.’ The world was changing, and the puppy was getting...bigger. [later] So, you see, the puppy was like industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially the little boy—‘society’—knew where to find ‘em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.

[Long pause]

Billy Madison: Knibb High football rules!

[the crowd erupts into cheers]

Principal: Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy Madison: Okay, a simple ‘wrong’ would’ve done just fine.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Idiotic, insane, rambling, Incoherent
“[to Miss Lippy] Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything; he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Little Boy, dog, Fucking, pet
“3rd Grader: How’s high school, Billy?

Billy Madison: High school is great. I mean I’m learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It’s great.

3rd Grader: Gee, I can’t wait till I get to ‘hike’ school.

Billy Madison: [grabs 3rd grader’s face and whispers] Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: high school, Learning, Threats
“Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I’d never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.

Miss Lippy: Well, I think it’s an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.

Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that’s great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck] That’s quacktastic.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: boobs, double dare
“Ramon: So, do you new brothers have any special skills that could help us out here tonight?

Chico: Like what?

Ramon: Like you know, Tommy's good with knives, Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Herm is good at strangling.

Danny: I can hold my breath for six minutes.

Chico: Well, I can play the piano with my dick.

Tommy aka White Knife: Well, we're unstoppable then.”
— Ramon, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: skills, Holding Your Breath, nipples
“[Danny tells his brothers the incident with President Lincoln]
Danny: Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go hit the little boy's room.

Abraham Lincoln: Are you shitting me?

Danny: Come on, you'll be fine superstar. Can I get you something on the way back? Agua? Brewski?

Abraham Lincoln: No.

Danny: Alright. Fair enough, I'll be back in two.

John Wilkes Booth: [running into one another in the hall] Where's the president's box?

Danny: John Wilkes Booth, the actor?

John Wilkes Booth: Yeah.

Danny: No way, man! Big fan! You wanna say hi to the president? He'd get a real kick out of that. Last door on the left.

John Wilkes Booth: Thank you!

Danny: Really cool. Wow, love that guy! [Danny is pooping when he hears a gunshot fired and women screaming] Abe!”
— Danny, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln, Assassination
“[first lines]
Clem: Lookie here. My day is made. I didn't even finish breakfast and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun.

Tommy aka White Knife: Injun? Nah. I just dress like this so's I don't get scalped out on the prairie.

Clem: Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit. Yeah, you can't be too safe out there... with all of them savages runnin' around. So, what can I do you for?

Tommy aka White Knife: Need some flour. Five sacks. And a carrot with peanut butter on it. Now, what's that gonna run me?

Clem: Well, sack of flour's 45 cents. So, five sacks... is 40...

Tommy aka White Knife: Wanna get back to me on that?

Clem: Yeah, look. Now, the flour's in the basement. You can fetch it yourself.

Tommy aka White Knife: Much obliged.”
— Clem, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: savages, scalps, breakfast, Flour, much obliged
“Sonny: Hey man, who won the Knick game?

Angry Guy: Who cares?

Sonny: Don't worry. He can't hold you down forever.

Angry Guy: What are you talking about?

Sonny: You know what I'm talking about.

Angry Guy: You're a loser.

Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not me. I forgive you.

Angry Guy: [walking away crying] I am. I hate my father.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: New York Knicks, Daddy Issues
“[Music playing in the background]
Layla: This is Styx.

Sonny: Yeah.

Layla: They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve.

Sonny: You're kidding me?

Layla: No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time.

Sonny: My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I've seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for ‘Mr. Roboto’!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: styx, fan, mr. roboto
“[at McDonald's]
Sonny: Okay, what do you want?

Julian: Cheerios.

Sonny: Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else?

Julian: Lasagna.

Sonny: Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage...

Employee: Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast.

Sonny: What are you talking about? We're FOUR seconds late.

Employee: No, you're 30 minutes and four seconds late. We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.

Sonny: Aw, HORSESHIT!”
— Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler, Steve Franks, Big Daddy
Tagged: breakfast, hot cakes, Sausage, McDonald's, horseshit
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