Sheldon: You have a sarcasm sign?”
Chandler: 'Hey, that’s ‘joincidence’ with a ‘C’.'”
Joey: 'And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.'”
Chandler: 'Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?'”
Abbie Hoffman: Father, no!
Judge Julius Hoffman: Mr. Hoffman, are you familiar with contempt of court?
Abbie Hoffman: It's practically a religion for me, sir.”
Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom.
Ellen Griswold: Shut up.”
Emile: Oh, I'm detecting nuttiness...”
Chandler: ‘I’m sure you’re right, but why?’”
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.”
Randy: That's a cheerful thought.”
Joey: ‘Her answering machine?’
Chandler: ‘No, interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.”
Chandler: ‘Wasting our lives.’
Joey: ‘I meant for lunch.’”
Chandler: 'Maureen Rosilla.'
Ross: ''Cause she doesn’t hate Yanni’ is not a real reason.'”
Katie: Well, yeah... did you go run and get the camera first?”
Chandler: 'Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.'”
Chandler: ‘Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.”